Okay, I thought I would be writing only one more post to finish out this blog, but once I started combing through images of my wedding for what was intended to be a “brief” discussion about my accessories, I realized I had too much to say on the subject to confine myself to a short paragraph and two or three images.  I was planning on rolling the discussion of my and my attendants’ accessories into a last, catch-all post about the numerous minor details that go into a wedding at the last minute, but, in truth, there was nothing minor or “last minute” about the way I chose to adorn myself and my entourage on the day of the wedding; I had been obsessing over the subject for nearly two years.  The simple reality is that I’m a magpie.  I never knew this until Rich put a sparkly ring from Tiffany on my finger and set me loose upon the bridal accessories industry like an over-stimulated squirrel, but I’m at peace with the realization.  In fact, I embrace it.  In fact, I altered my wedding budget various times to accommodate my new obsession.  I’m so glad I did, since, in the end, I loved my accessories more than my dress, and unlike my dress I intend to wear them again for special occasions in the future.  Sure, it might be difficult finding an appropriate occasion to wear a giant crystal and mother-of-pearl hair comb, but I’ve already begun dropping phrases like “vow renewal ceremony” into my daily lexicon.  So far, my husband hasn’t scoffed, and, according to my rudimentary understanding of male psychology, if I keep saying it often enough my powers of suggestion should overtake his contrary inclinations and — voila! — in a few years I’ll be wearing it again in the tiny, medieval chapel in Vernazza.  He’ll be wondering how we got there, and I’ll be contendedly sparkling.

A close-up view of my comb, made of Swarovski crystals and mother-of-pearl.  It garnered many compliments on the day of the wedding and will make a wonderful heirloom.

Brides these days have various options when it comes to bridal jewelry, everything from family heirlooms to rented diamonds.  I was really fixated on Christina Garcia accessories for a while but just wasn’t totally enamored, at least not enough to “pull the trigger.”  I was still wrestling with the matter until, quite accidentally, I stumbled upon Regina B.’s website (www.reginab.com).  It had to be fate, really:  I had just chosen my gown and was gazing lovingly upon an image of it on Alvina Valenta’s website when I saw a little caption along the lines of “Model is wearing accessories by Regina B.,” followed by a link to her site.  I clicked, and the rest is heart-palpitating history.  What initially caught my eye was the fact that her accessories had the vintage look I required for my wedding, but what totally hooked me were her mother-of-pearl flowers.  I didn’t know I ever wanted such a thing until I absolutely had to have it.  I bought Regina B. accessories for my Honored Attendants as well as for myself, since the pieces were special and beautiful enough to act as the most important gifts I would ever give these two most important ladies.  The fact that the service I received was friendly and gracious was just gravy, especially in the last few weeks before the wedding when even normally sensible women turn into screeching, stressed-out harpies.  It was a great experience and one of the easiest decisions I made about the wedding.  Money well-spent, and so pretty.  I wore the earrings and bracelet again during New Year’s Eve festivities and intend to wear them many times again.  Here are some images of my accessories “in action” on the day of my wedding:

My earrings.  I chose these chandelier earrings because they looked very traditional and vintage to me.  I have heard recently that smaller earrings are more on-trend these days, but I deliberately wanted something exaggeratedly glamorous because of my vintage theme and because my dress was so simple.  I initially envisioned myself either in lace or in a heavily beaded frock; when I fell in love with a simple gown instead, I gleefully decided that I would go completely off the rails when it came to my accessories.  These earrings were sparkly, glamorous and elegant.

My bracelet has particular sentimental value.  My sister purchased it for me as my “something new” (my “something old” was the veil she had worn on her wedding day, which my mother had made for her and then later modified for me).  I liked that it looks like a small, silver and crystal vine wrapped around my wrist.  In that sense, it goes really well with my comb, like two sprigs from the same sparkling garden.

My handbag.  It was covered with ivory beads that went beautifully with the creme color of my dress, and had a gorgeous crystal clasp.  There is quite a story behind this bag.  It was a last-minute addition to my trousseau and was basically a gift from Regina B. because of what turned out to be a harmless snafu that resulted from a miscommunication in my order.  Like I said, the service was exceptional. 

My favorite part of my trousseau, my hair accessory.  It was the most dramatic part of my ensemble and garnered many compliments for me.  When I brought it to Bridal Trousseau to try on with my dress during one of my visits, the staff passed it around the store, oggling it and asking dozens of questions (Where did I get it?  Was I planning on selling it?  Etc., etc.)  I had initially chosen a much more conservative design, but a couple of months before I intended to place my order, I saw this particular comb on a television show and, once again, absolutely had to have it.  It was about $100 over my initial budget but well worth it.  I intend to loan it to any friends or family (or a future daughter) who may want to wear it, but am hoping to wear it myself at a future vow renewal ceremony in Italy, where we got engaged.  At the very least, it makes a beautiful family heirloom.

My maid and matron of honor, my childhood friend Tara and my sister Victoria.  Tara wore a pair of dramatic chandelier earrings while Victoria wore an art deco-style brooch and teardrop-shaped earrings, all by Regina B.  Victoria’s brooch had a mother-of-pearl disk that matched the mother-of-pearl flowers in my hair accessory.  It was art deco in design, which tied it in with the earrings I purchased for my other attendants.  Tara’s chandelier earrings were so divine that I was tempted until the last minute to swap them out with the ones that I wore.   Because she wore her hair down in front of her ears, they are difficult to see.  The pretty, delicate detailing on Victoria’s earrings also fail to come through in the photos.  Here are close-up views from the designer’s site:

When it comes to planning a wedding, the details can be so numerous and overwhelming, the process so onerous, that it becomes very easy to forget that it’s supposed to be a happy occasion.  Taking the time to ponder my accessories, to comb through blogs and designers’ websites and flip through magazines for the latest craze or flight of fancy is a great way to remind yourself that wedding planning is supposed to be fun.  Since Rich and I were hosting our own wedding instead of our parents (an increasingly common scenario as people wait to get married later than those in our parents’ generation), we spent a lot of time worrying about how to please everyone else, wringing our hands over what they would want to eat, what they would want to dance to, how much they wanted to drink, etc., etc.  Thinking about my jewelry and accessories was a fun but necessary frivolity, a little bit of self-indulgence that served as a refuge from the stress that came with worrying about how to please everyone else.  They looked beautiful on The Day and made my wedding photos all the more glamorous.  And best of all, I have several great, sparkly accessories that I can use over and over again in the future!

Well, our wedding has come and gone.  It was a wonderful day, a fun reception, and worth all the planning and anxiety.  Before saying good-bye to this blog, I wanted to share some of the fruits of my last two years’ labor and show everyone how all of the little details I’ve been obsessing over since November 2008 came together on The Day.  I’m devoting this, my penultimate post, to my wedding day flowers.  The floral arrangements and bouquets were some of my favorite details about the wedding.  You can see why in the photo above, which shows my predominantly ivory bouquet next to my attendants’ colorful blooms.  They were so lovely!  My wedding flowers deserve a discussion all their own.

A close-up of my bouquet, a beautiful cluster of cream roses, berries, fragrant English garden roses and pearls, surrounded by a collar of fluffy ostrich feathers.  On the handle, which was wrapped in gold ribbon, you can see my “something blue,” a brooch, and my “something borrowed,” my mother-in-law’s rosary.

As you know if you’ve been following this blog, I’ve been obsessing over ostrich feathers for about a year and a half now, since I spied a bouquet of pink roses nestled in a collar of ostrich feathers on theknot.com.  Aside from the feathers, however, I didn’t have a fixed “vision” regarding the rest of the flowers.  First I wanted deep, rich jewel tones for the table centerpieces, and then I decided that ivory blooms would be better against the dark woods of the Branford House’s interior.  I initially envisioned roses everywhere, and then I became briefly obsessed with calla lilies, and then hydrangeas.  Somehow, despite my lack of coherent direction, Linda was able to design bouquets and arrangements that were exactly what I wanted.  She and Sue took my disorganized jumble of discordant ideas and created lovely centerpieces, bouquets and mantle arrangements that were beyond my vision and expectations.  Here you can see some images of my bridesmaids’ bouquets:

A couple of views of my attendants’ bouquets.  There were composed of cream roses to tie in with my own bouquet, eggplant calla lilies and berries.  Their handles were wrapped with gray ribbon to match the attendants’ slate gray Jenny Yoo dresses and fastened with pearl-embellished pins.  I was unsure about whether or not to include feathers in their boquets until the last minute, and ultimately made a final decision on the fly.   I’m glad we elected to use them in the end.  They looked really lovely.

I had two Honor Attendants (traditionally they would be called my Maid of Honor and my Matron of Honor), one of my best friends Tara and my sister Victoria.  I wanted their bouquets to stand apart from those of the other attendants.  I had no clear “vision” for any of my attendants’ bouquets; I just knew that I wanted eggplant calla lilies and cream-colored roses involved in some way.  How they actually turned out in the end was entirely due to Linda’s creative talents.  One thing I did decide many months ago, however, was that I wanted to include peacock feathers in the Honor Attendants’ bouquets.  My sister is not a great fan of roses, so we knew early on that her bouquet would include many different types of flowers.  I loved peacock feathers but had decided to keep my vision simple and avoid “feather overkill” by sticking with just the ostrich feathers for the reception decor; her bouquet would be a great excuse to use them.  Linda would have free reign to choose flowers for Victoria’s bouquet that pulled inspiration from the peacock feathers.  For Victoria, I purchased natural, undyed feathers.  Linda fashioned this charming boquet, a colorful garden mixture of flowers with a dramatic collar of natural peacock feathers:

I’m not entirely sure of every kind of flower that was in her bouquet, but you can see cream and lilac-colored roses and dramatic black calla lilies, along with bright yellow, blue and green blooms that reflected the many jewel tones in the peacock feathers and really “popped” against her black silk chiffon dress.  It was one of my favorite arrangements of the entire wedding.  Here is a close-up of the flowers that Linda used in Victoria’s bouquet, juxtaposed next to my own ivory arrangement:

Tara’s bouquet would be quite different from Victoria’s because she wanted to use bleached instead of natural peacock feathers.  Since she and Victoria were wearing the same exact dress in black, I wanted them to stand out from one another by their flowers and their accessories.  To that end, I bought different jewelry for them, and Tara’s feather fascinator would be made of the same kind of bleached peacock feathers as there would be in her bouquet.  When her feathers arrived, I was really pleased with them.  They were irridescent, with subtle purple tones in the eye of each feather.  Reflecting the more subdued tones of her bleached peacock feathers, Tara’s bouquet was less colorful than Victoria’s:

The centerpieces were clusters of cream roses and hydrangeas with a draping collar of white ostrich feathers, mixed with some greenery and berries, and set atop tall, crystal pedestals.  As you can see, they stood out beautifully against the rich, inlaid wood panels of the Branford House’s walls.  Here you can see  a close-up view of one of the arrangements, followed by some of the centerpieces lined up, waiting to be placed on tables, on the morning of the wedding:

The fireplace mantles were also decked out with beautiful flowers.  I was most worried about the towering fireplace in the main, center ballroom.  Because of its scale, I was worried that it would be impossible to decorate it in a reasonably affordable manner.  Any sort of arrangement, I thought, would be swallowed up and appear miniscule.  In the end, Linda and Sue created arrangements that were grand enough for their setting.  Here is the dramatic, two-story marble and wallnut fireplace decked out for the evening:

Below are a few images of the reception decor coming together.  My theme was vintage, so I wanted everything to look elegant and classic.  I like to follow trends when it comes to fashion, but for my wedding I decided to keep it timeless.  I’ll be looking at the photos of that day for the rest of my life, after all; I didn’t want to regret any of my choices.  The colors for the reception were ivory and gold, which I chose because I thought those colors would stand out in the dark interior of the mansion.  We chose gold chiavari chairs, since the chairs provided by the reception venue were old and inappropriate.  For the centerpieces, we selected crystal pedestals with gold bases.  Most of the flowers were ivory or cream, though the attendants’ bouquets had splashes of color for added drama.  If I had it to do over again, I probably would have chosen ivory linens instead of gold, but the gold linens looked fine.  In any case, I hijacked the following images that Linda took because I think it’s neat to see how the place was transformed and made glamorous:

You can see the striped table linen, crystal pedestal and the fireplace arrangements in the East room of the Branford House.  The coffered ceiling in this room was on of my favorite architectural details in the mansion.

 

 

 

The main ballroom decked out for the evening.

 

 

 

The small, East ballroom again, dressed for the evening’s event.  With its inlaid wood walls and coffered ceiling, this room is visually quite spectacular.

 

 

 

A close-up of the arrangement decorating the mantle in the larger, West ballroom, where most of the dancing and cocktail hour took place.  It is made of cream-colored roses, ivory hydrangeas, ferns and other greenery, with a few jaunty ostrich feathers mixed in.

 

 

A couple of arrangements in the main ballroom.  I wasn’t really sure how I wanted the feathers to be incorporated in the centerpieces and was pleasantly surprised when I saw how Linda and Sue used them, hanging from the bottom of each arrangement and draping over the top of the pedestal.

 

The following photos are from the photographer’s album and show the arrangements “in situ” during the wedding reception.  It’s probably unnecessary to include them, but I love them so much I’ve decided to do so anyway:

 

So, to conclude my musings on my wedding day flowers, I would say that Linda’s designs were beautiful, and feathers made all the difference.  I would have liked the arrangements even without the plumes, but the generous scattering of peacock and ostrich feathers turned up the glamour quotient and made everything a little bit more special and a little more “me.”  With visions of flappers holding ostrich feather fans and Ginger Rogers floating across a dance floor with a skirt made entirely of ostrich plumes tumbling around in my head, feathers also say “vintage” to me, which was perfect for my theme.  Hopefully, no birds were actually harmed in the making of my wedding …

Ah, gifts for my boys.  What should I get?  Should everyone get the same thing?  How playful should the gifts be?  What would be appropriate?  Believe it or not, I always had a pretty good idea of the exact type of gifts I’d be picking up for my groomsmen.  As the attire for the event would require french-cuff shirts, I only felt it was fitting to pick up cuff-links for everyone.  My only challenge was figuring out the style I should go with. 

After spending hours and hours of reviewing hundreds of stylish cuff-links, it then hit me.  Rather then get everyone the same style accessory, why not have them personalized?  I’m not talking having them engraved with initials…I’m talking about a quirky cuff-link that actually reminds me of the individual in some way.  Below are my selections 

Mike Pinto: 
My best man, and by far my oldest friend (we go back to pre-school days).  As long as I’ve known him, he’s jumped in and out of various obsessive-compulsive phases.  DVD Collecting, Sound Systems, Paint-Balling, Cars, etc.  Mike never does anything halfway, so if he’s into something… he’s totally into it.  His most memorable phase?  Firearms!  Not surprisingly, this was also his scariest phase all-time.  That’s right…Guns, guns and more guns.  Over the years he’s curbed this obsession (his better half put him in check), but I’ll never forget the day Mike sprawled out his then dozen or so weapons over his bed and then posed for a photo holding a rifle in each arm.  Black baseball cap turned backwards.  My god, was it horrifying.  He could have made the cover of Red-Neck Weekly with that picture.  If Mike is ever imprisoned some day for some sort of violent offense, that’s the photo that will be plastered all over the headlines.  The cuff-link below not only represents this very unique phase of his life, it also reminds me of his intense commitment towards friends, family and hobbies.

Joe Rasamny:
Joe was my former college roommate, business partner and is of course one of my closest friends.  His good nature and big heart are his most impressive attributes.  Joe has also had an affinity towards the art of debate.  It didn’t matter what it was…School, sports, business, etc.  He was always ready for some verbal jabbing even if his opponent didn’t know he or she was in the ring.  His strongest area of debate?  Politics!  Oh man, does he have some strong opinions on that subject!  His political passion is clear, and I have no doubt that he will one day officially enter into that arena.  In the meantime, he’ll have the following cuff-links to remind him of this desire.  For those of you who don’t recognize it, they depict the Presidential Seal! 

Luis Silva:
Lui was also a former college roommate, but our friendship goes back well before then.  Lui’s the kind of guy whom everyone just wants to be around; his intoxicating humor and positive energy always draw a crowd.  Both he and his wife Maureen live life to the fullest and are always pushing the envelope.  Adventurous travel, sailing, flying, etc.  — they do it all!  But how do I capture the essence of such a free spirit in a cufflink, you ask?  Well, when I think of Lui, I think of the movie “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.”  More precisely, I think of a particular quote from the movie:  “I wanna go fast!”.  Much like his journey through life, Lui has a rather insatiable obsession with driving fast.   He’s a phenomenal driver.  I’m not kidding when I say I think he could drive Formula 1.  The guy is fearless.  You should have seen him tearing up the Vegas desert on our dune buggy excursion recently.  Wild man!  Lui, I want you to yell “I wanna go fast” and point to these cufflinks on the morning of my wedding. 

John Plotica:
Our friendship goes back to our college days, but we actually became “close” friends after we both graduated.  Whenever I’m around John, I feel like my inner child is instantly released.  Kathleen once made the comment that the two of us together reminds her of the relationship that Turk and JD had on the sitcom “Scrubs”.  Kathleen insists that I’m the JD equivalent, as his drink of choice, appletini, is just as unmanly as mine…chocolatini.  Turk…I mean, John, is a true friend who has always been there for me.  While I see John as having an endearing personality, some find him to be quirky in some aspects.  What makes him quirky?  Well, he’s a civil-war reenactor…need I say more?  His passion for that era is amazing.  I must admit, it was really difficult finding civil-war related cufflinks.  Brushed metal / chrome (the motif I was trying to maintain for all of my groomsman) was just not available in my search.  So i decided to bite the bullet and sacrifice my color scheme for the appropriate gift.  It’s keeping with his quirky personality as he’s the only one with a brass cufflink.  Union forever!

Tom Nielsen:
My brother-in-law, and buddy from my college days.  Tom has always been part of the entourage.  He’s a man of few words, but he’s not afraid to throw out some gems of comedic genius from time to time.  Granted, his comedic timing is not always there, and he has been known to create some cringe-worthy, why-the-hell-would-you-say-that ”Tom” moments.  But… as I look back, each one of those classic moments bring a smile to my face.  Those who know Tom understand that he has a passion to create things with his bare hands.  He’s an engineer at heart and is very methodical in his approach to every one of his projects.  Whether it’s building a computer out of a suitcase, laying some intricate electrical cable or tiling a bathroom with the utmost precision, Tom’s not afraid to get his hands dirty.  He just needs his tools.  Hopefully the cufflinks help him out on his future project: building a personal sub-marine.  I kid you not!

Brian Gibeault:
My boy Brian…A.K.A  “Bone.”  We became friends back in college as well.  It’s nearly impossible for anyone not to like Brian.  He’s an innately kind and personable individual.  Looking back, some of my fondest college memories were of Bone and I just chatting the night away until the sun came up.  He’s a class act, and he’s always there to help a friend in need.  Just about all of my groomsman are techies, but I consider Brian to be the ultimate geek.  He’s always on the bleeding edge of technological trends.  Whether it’s tinkering with the latest operating system, playing with the newest smart phone or learning a new development language, he’s always immersed in the latest techie trenches.  Until the next tech-revolution, my friend!

A couple of weeks ago, my beloved and I met with our officiant for the final time before the rehearsal.  We finalized the details of the ceremony, chose our vows and selected our readings.  I wanted the vows to be as conventional as possible.  Although I recognize that self-written vows are intended to be sweet, I usually find them trite, formulaic and awkward to observe.  After speaking with Carolyn, Rich and I decided to choose fairly conventional, “pre-fabricated” vows, if you will.  Love, honor and cherish … that sort of thing.  We decided that we would choose our readings in order to reflect a little bit more on our personalities:  We chose two Biblical readings to signify our respect for tradition and our understanding of the importance and sanctity of the promise we’ll be making, but for our last reading we chose a poem by my favorite poet, Pablo Neruda, that is definitely unconventional and a lot more intimate.  It’s quite a sensual poem, so for me it’s pushing the envelope a bit (as far as I’m willing to push it in a house of worship, that is).  The first, very brief reading, is from the Old Testament.  Carolyn suggested that we weave it into our vows, but that’s still a work in progress.  It’s from Ruth, Chapter 1, verses 16 and 17:

“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I  will die, and there I will be burried.  May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you from me.”

Our second reading will be longer, the tried and true 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13:

“If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end …  And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.”

Pablo Neruda as a young man

Lastly, we chose a poem by the great Chilean politician and poet, Pablo Neruda.  Though most of his love poetry is quite erotic and therefore inappropriate for a wedding ceremony in front of our conservative families, I found one that is deeply intimate and sensual but not overtly erotic.  It’s also very beautiful, and though it might strike some of our older reltives as a bit too personal for the setting, it’s one of my favorites.  Amid the conventional music, traditional vows and Biblical verses, it’ll be like a dash of color, a small flicker of our personality as a couple.  It’s Neruda’s Sonnett XVII, sometimes referred to as the perfect love poem:

I don’t love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

Pablo Neruda, Nobel Poet Laureate

The sad reality is that no matter how much a girl loves her wedding dress, chances are she’s going to need to tweak it significantly in order to make it “perfect.”  Unless you’re lucky enough to have a gown custom crafted to your exact measurements, you’re more likely than not going to need a seamstress to make it fit your particular specifications.  When ordering a bridal gown, the general rule of thumb is that it’s always easier to take the dress in than to let  it out, so you should always consult the designer’s size chart, order the size that will accommodate your largest part (in my case, my hips; for another girl, it might be her bust, etc.), and always trust your consultant when she implores you not to order your dress two sizes smaller than what’s advisable because you think you’re going to drop twenty pounds before your wedding.  No, you won’t.  In any case, for many women, shopping for a wedding dress can be a migraine-inducing ordeal.  The reason is simple:  Most gown samples are a bridal size 10, which is a street size 6.  This can be a rather draconian reality for the average American woman, who measures 5’4″ and wears a street size 14.  Some bridal salons carry plus-size sample sizes, but many do not.  It also means that the average-size woman can’t find a gown at most sample sales.  It’s a rather unfriendly process.  For someone short and scrawny like me, however, who takes a 0 in tops and usually a 2, sometimes a 4, in bottoms, it meant ordering my dress in a bridal size 8 (street size 4) to ensure that it would fit my widest part, my hips.  Well, that resulted in my gown being enormous on me, especially on the bodice, so I was a little annoyed to know that I would have to shell out $200 – $300 on alterations in order to tighten the dress at its side seams.  Most bridal salons include some basic alterations — the hemline and bustle — in the cost of the dress; for the side seams, however, you’re on your own.  In any case, I think that when it comes to something as important as your wedding gown, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.  After all, it has to be perfect, and one just has to bite the bullet, no matter how much of a penny-pinching psycho you’ve morphed into after two years of planning a wedding.

The average wedding dress requires a minimum of two fittings; the first is usually devoted to pinning the garment to its desired proportions to hug the bride’s curves.

Most brides begin the alterations process about six to eight weeks before the wedding.  It’s really not something that can be done “on the cheap,” since bridal gowns are complicated garments, frequenlty adorned with lace, crystal appliques and hand-applied beading and requiring hours of expert craftsmanship.  Needless to say, it’s really not a good idea to have your bridesmaid Chrissy take a stab at it because she got an A on that tote bag she sewed in Home Ec class in the seventh grade.  Most brides elect to have their alterations done at the salon where they purchased their gowns.  This is usually a pretty fail-proof option:  Typically, the ladies who populate this department at a bridal salon are highly competent experts with many years of experience working specifically with bridal gowns.  Like a good men’s tailor, whose specialization is narrow and specific, any seamstress who touches your wedding gown should have extensive experience working specifically with wedding dresses.  After all, I can hem a pair of pants, but no one not on hallucinagenic mushrooms should let me touch her wedding dress with a pair of scizzors.  So, in short, if you elect not to have your alterations done at the store where you purchased your dress, accept the implicit caveats, do a ton of research, read reviews and be very, very careful.  Get recommendations.  After all, a good seamstress, like a good lawyer, probably relies on word of mouth for most of her business (and you’ll never see her advertise on the side of a bus …).  You should also bring the exact shoes and undergarments to your fitting that you plan on wearing on your wedding day, not an approximation, even a good approximation.  That way only folly lies (and heartbreak, and panic attacks …).

During the second (and sometimes third or even fourth) fitting, the dress is usually altered to fit the bride’s body, and the seamstress devotes herself to tweaking minor details and perfecting the bustle. 

So, with all these things in mind, I decided to have my alterations done at the boutique where I had purchased my gown, Bridal Trousseau on Main in Branford.  I toyed with the idea of having my mother do the alterations because I thought I would want some significant changes done to the dress that, at this late point in the planning process, would put a prohibitive strain on my budget.  It had been over a year since I saw my dress, so I had been second-guessing my choice and had convinced myself that I wanted to change everything about it.  My mother is a very talented seamstress with many years of experience with every kind of garment under the sun, including wedding dresses, so I figured I might as well take advantage of that lucky coincidence and conscript her for my own alterations.  After seeing my gown again, however, I realized that I had been wrong, that I love it the way it is and need only to take in the side seams to make it fit.   No need to enlist Bunny, who’s already got enough on her plate with the alterations on my bridesmaids’ dresses.  Instead, I would be working with Giovanna at Bridal Trousseau.  About a week ago, however, during my second fitting, I had my first, genuine bridal meltdown.  A couple of weeks prior to that, I had gone to Bridal Trousseau for my very first dress fitting.  I had purchased my shoes, corset and slip in advance, got the dress pinned, admired my reflection a bit and then went away feeling perfectly at ease.  During my second fitting, however, I realized that the seamstress had made an error and taken the whole dress in about two sizes, including the skirt, which had needed only minor tweaking.  I looked like a stuffed sausage and, though I knew the dress hadn’t been cut and that it would be an easy fix, the following week before my next fitting seemed like a very long, anxious week indeed.  I didn’t want to be one of those psychotic brides whose reviews I’ve read online describing how they took their dress and ran after a less than ideal preliminary fitting, without giving the seamstress a chance to work her magic, but I was paranoid that the dress wouldn’t be right when I went back to the boutique.  Thankfully, I did a lot of hand-wringing for nothing.  I returned to Bridal Trousseau a few days ago with my mother, and my dress looked gorgeous!  Eagle-eyed Bunny nit-picked on a lot of little details that she thought could be improved upon, so it was a great idea to have her there, but for the most part I was really pleased.  I’m returning for my fourth (and hopefully final) fitting on the 22nd, and, as always, I’ll keep you posted! 

After numerous fitting and a good helping of elbow grease … voila! … perfection

There are innumerable details involved in planning one’s nuptials, but few are as important as the wedding feast.  Anyone who is Portuguese like my fiance and I understands the central importance of food to any celebration or major social event in our culture.  When we first starting planning our wedding nearly two years ago, Rich and I decided that a major part of our attention and the majority of our budget would be directed toward the food and alcohol.  Without adequate victuals or libations, we would, quite literally, never hear the end of it.  My mother and father still sniff disdainfully when recalling so-and-so’s wedding in 1976, where the food was so bad and paltry and left them so famished that they actually had to stop at that vile den of culinary purgatory, McDonald’s, on the way home.  Would they have fainted from malnurishment and crashed the car had they not paused for greasy fries and fountain drinks?  I don’t know, but that’s how the story goes, and they’ll tell it in perpetuity. 

In any case, Rich and I decided immediately that we’ll have an open bar, and his father, who annually makes homemade wine, dedicated a large portion of his last vintage to the wedding, for which Sandy created adorable custom labels featuring our cats Quintus and Oliver (more on that in an upcoming post!).  As for the food, our vision has evolved over time.  I originally wanted a stations dinner reception to allow our friends and families to fatten themselves to whatever degree they desired, but eventually we decided that our fabulous venue just doesn’t have enough space for all the tables and lines that a stations reception would require.  I was also uneasy about the idea of people having to walk around with plates and having to wait in line, and the formality of a served, sit-down meal seemed to make more sense for the more formal ambience of the Branford House.  This, of course, presented us with a new species of anxiety, since we worried that, without the option of getting up for seconds or thirds, our emaciated guests wouldn’t feel sated.  As I’ve said before, they won’t remember what my dress looks like in two days, but for the next forty or fifty years, they’ll remember the quality and quantity of the food we serve them.  When we met with Michael from Coastal Gourmet for a tasting, we were satisfied that we had nothing to worry about in regards to the quality of the food:  it was sufficiently delicious.  As for the quantity, we tweaked our menu in several ways, including a hearty paella station during the cocktail hour and a double-entree plate for dinner.  There will inevitably be someone who isn’t satisfied, but Rich and I are reasonably confident that the vast majority will be pleased with our choices.  In any case, without further ado, this is the full menu, from soup to nuts:

Cocktail Hour:

Stationary Appetizers

• Blocks & Wedges of International Cheeses, Artistically Displayed with Seasonal Fruit and Garnished with Grapes and Berries. Served with Gourmet Crackers.

Compliment Paella Station

• Envision Colossal Shrimp, Native Scallops, Chicken and Spicy Chorizo mingling with Clams and Mussels in a fragrant Saffron Rice accented with Sweet Onions, Red Bell Pepper and Scallions.  Prepared by an attending Chef and served in an Authentic 36″Paella Pan

 Butlered Hors d’oeuvres

• Mini Crab Cakes with Chipotle Aioli
• Gorgonzola & Pecan Stufed Crimini Mushrooms
• Waldorf Chicken Salad on Cinnamon Crisp, Apple Glaze
• Ginger Carrot Pancakes, Mango Chutney

Dinner:

Salad Course

• Field Greens with Spiced Walnuts & Gorgonzola, served with Lemon Honey Vinaigrette
• Hearth Baked Breads with Sweet Butter

 Duo Plate Entree

• Grilled Filet Mignon with a Brandied Green Peppercorn Sauce
• Ginger Seared Scallops With Pumpkin Butter
• Pumpkin Ravioli, Sage and Brown Butter Sauce
• Fresh Asparagus Lightly Grilled with Lemon Zest, Olive Oil and Pink Sea Salt

Dessert:

Coffee, Tea and Dessert Station

• Genoise Cake filled with dark chocolate mousse and covered with buttercream
• Traditional Portuguese Pastries
• Freshly Brewed Cofee, Decaf and Select Teas

Butlered Late Night Treats:

• Delicate Petite Pastries to include Eclairs, Key Lime Tarts, Cheesecake, Chocolate Dipped Strawberries & Cannolis
• Spicy Chicken Quesadilla with Avocado Cream
• Coastal Gourmet Beef Sliders, Cheese, Lettuce and Tomato
• Vegetable Spring Rolls with Spicy Plum Sauce

Yes, dear reader, we are so petrified of anyone leaving the event the least bit hungry that Rich and I have decided that those late-night revellers who remain at the reception past ten o’clock should be offered fun finger foods to quench their possible cravings.  Hopefully, everyone will come hungry, have a blast and leave sated.  After all, it’ll be a celebration, and the old saying applies:  Eat, drink and be merry!

Until about three weeks ago, I really loved birdcage veils.  I explained the reasons why in a previous post, but I’ll distill them down to just two for our purposes today:  First, and most importantly, they look “vintage; Second, I thought a traditional, romantic veil might seem too sweet and sentimental on the likes of me (two adjectives very few people would use to describe yours truly).  I was so enamored with the idea of wearing a sassy little cage veil that I even toyed with the thought of making my attendants wear tiny black ones with their feather fascinators!  My Honored Attendant and sister Victoria supported the idea of my wearing a birdcage veil, and even my mother, from whom I expected some sort of protest, seemed rather resigned to this latest whim of mine.  I made a couple of phone calls to local bridal salons asking if they carried Sara Gabriel cage veils and then, upon receiving assurance that they had what I was looking for, booked an appointment at Mariella Creations in Rocky Hill for May 31st, coincidentally the Friday before Memorial Day weekend.  Simple enough, right?  Well, actually, there were ominous signs all over the place that the day was cursed, and that this whole cage veil idea was careening face-first into catastrophe!

First of all, the store’s selection of birdcage veils was paltry, and though they did carry Sara Gabriel veils, none of the samples they had on hand was a birdcage veil; even still, I did select a simple visor veil made of French netting in about two minutes (my haste was yet another ominous sign of impending doom, perhaps).  Secondly, my car broke down in the middle of heavy holiday traffic on I-95, and I had to be rescued by my future father-in-law.  Third, traffic and my vehicular upheavals resulted in my being nearly an hour late to my appointment at the fabulous White Dress By The Shore in Clinton, where, frazzled and enraged, I eventually met my attendants for the purpose of ordering their dresses (the wise women on staff quickly and efficiently shoved a glass of champagne into my hand and crossed their fingers that alcohol would soothe the flustered bridezilla in their midst).  And last but not least, the corset bra that I had just purchased at Mariella Creations, which I was assured fit me “perfectly,” was so huge that it bunched up when I sat down, and my sister could fit her entire hand up the back, along with half her arm (and thus began my hatred of the term “final sale”).  Needless to say, in nearly two years of wedding planning, that day was the worst, most stressful day I’ve had to endure.  I was unsurprised a few weeks ago upon returning to Mariella Creations to pick up my veil to discover that I absolutely hated the simple visor veil I had purchased on May 31st.  Aside from the stunning Jenny Yoo Collection bridesmaids gowns my attendants and I ordered, nothing good could possibly have come from that horrendous day.

Well, in any case, what’s a girl to do when she discovers a mere eight weeks before her wedding that she absolutely hates her veil?  Actually, I had given it some thought even before I saw my actual veil.  You see, I had been revisting the idea of wearing a traditional veil for several weeks.  Why, you ask?  Well, basically, I watch too much television, and after seeing several examples of ghetto and white trash brides throwing tantrums and screeching expletives while wearing birdcage veils on the low-rent freakshow called “Bridezillas,” the televised parade of horrors brought to us by the good people at WE TV, I started to question my own taste level.  After all, if these cursing, bloated creatures were wearing the exact type of veil I had chosen, I had no choice but to consider whether the birdcage trend had devolved into tackiness.  Also, everything about my wedding is formal and somewhat grand — my designer gown, my ostrich feathers, the historical chapel and mansion where we’re holding our ceremony and reception, my attendants’ flowing, floor-length silk chiffon gowns, my glamorous Regina B. accessories, my handsome groom’s impeccable tailored suit and Tiffany cuff links, our revised dinner menue of filet mignon and sea scallops ( and did I mention my ostrich feathers?), etc.  –  that my simple, informal, almost casual little cage veil would seem like an afterthought in comparison, something better suited to a morning garden ceremony followed by a brunch reception than to our formal ceremony and evening reception.  Despite my distaste for the symbolism behind the traditional bridal veil — modesty, innocence and sexual purity — I decided to return to my origional “vision” of a flowing, floor-length veil like the ones pictured in this post.

I can’t help it:  I just love the look of a long, romantic veil.  Though I’ve grumbled in the past that I’m just not the “type” for a traditional veil, I’ve embraced the idea.  In some ways, it’s what makes a bride look like a bride rather than just a woman in a big white dress.  Though I resisted the idea of wearing one myself, I now reluctantly concede that there’s something dramatic and beautiful about a long, tulle veil that you just can’t get from a small birdcage veil.  I knew, at least in the back of my mind, that in a few years I would look at my wedding photos and regret not wearing a traditional veil.  But with less than two months till my wedding and my original $500 – $700 veil budget reallocated toward other things like lead crystal candelabras and more ostrich feathers, what’s a girl to do?  Well, one possible solution is modifying the lovely, cathedral-length veil my mother made my sister for her wedding seven years ago.  Bunny used a very high quality silk tulle that flows and drapes beautifully and shimmers in the light; she also edged it with dainty pearls and crystals.  It’s definitely the worse for wear, having been rolled up and stuffed into a plastic bag after Victoria’s wedding, but I’ve washed it and steamed out most of the wrinkles and think (fingers crossed) that it might be salvageable.  Since my dress has a short sweep train, I would prefer a floor-length veil, so we would have to remove several feet of length, and there’s some discoloration around where the original comb was placed, so it would need some work.  My mother is coming over tomorrow to do dress fittings for a couple of my attendants, so I’m having her take a look at the veil as well to see what we can do.  I think it would be lovely if I were able to wear my sister’s veil as my “something old,” and, since my mother made it herself, it would also add some sentimental value to my trousseau.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’ll work out, and, as always, I’ll keep you posted!

I’ve written a few times about my wedding gown, which I love.  Without giving too much away, it’s a dramatic trumpet gown of cream Duchess satin by Alvina Valenta.  Embellished with crystal appliques and classic in its details and silhouette, my wedding dress helped inspire my current vintage obsession.  I bought it last year a few months after becoming engaged and am as excited about it today as I was when it first arrived at Bridal Trousseau last Spring.  With that said, however, bridal fashion is really at its zenith right now, with designers like Vera Wang and Monique Lhuillier raising bridal couture to stratospheric heights of decadence and artistry, and there are literally dozens, if not hundreds, of dresses I admire and could wear just as easily, and enthusiastically, as the one I chose.  For example, there’s the subject of this post.  I ran across this gown a few days ago, a garment of such beaded fabulousness that I just had to share it with everyone.  No, this isn’t actually related to my own wedding, and, yes, it’s a bit of a detour, but this site has evolved into a forum for me to share my general musings on all things wedding-related and to indulge my silly fantasy of becoming an event/wedding coordinator (you know, just in case my law degree really does fail to pay dividends in the future).  In that spirit, I’ve decided to devote this post to the one dress I’ve seen in the past year that has given me a mild case of “dress envy.”  It’s from Lazaro’s 2010 collection, and it’s utterly glamorous.  Feast thine eyes:

How, you ask, did I stumble upon this simultaneously fitted and flared, glitzy and yet understated work of art?  Well, an acquaintance of mine became engaged a few months ago and is still shopping for her gown, so every once in a while I’ll check out the latest in bridal couture with the idea of throwing some suggestions her way.  I love Lazaro’s gowns (in fact, my sister Victoria wore Lazaro when she got married several years ago, and the first gown that I fell in love with and considered purchasing before I found “The One” was a decadent, heavily-beaded Lazaro that tickled my mother’s fancies), so his designs are always among the first that I check out for inspiration.  It was while I was perusing www.jlmcouture.com a few days ago that I stumbled upon this breathtaking creation.  It’s Style LZ3052, and it’s amazing.   How do I love it?  Let me count the ways. 

First of all, it’s my favorite silhouette.  I prefer trumpet and mermaid gowns because they’re both sexy and flattering to a girl of my shape (slender overall, about a size 2, but with hips and a chest):  They’re fitted to about the knee, emphasizing a small waist and creating a feminine hourglass shape, and then they flare out at the bottom to balance the hips.  It’s also a sophisticated silhouette, which is ideal for those of us who spent our 20′s in school and let pass the days where we could wear a princess ball gown with a straight face.  Secondly, the bodice.  While the silk-faced satin trumpet skirt is a study in elegant restraint, the jewel-encrusted bodice is unadulterated glamor.  So heavily adorned it looks like it was beaded by a drunken gay sailor, the glittering, sheer bodice on this gown takes an already sexy silhouette and amps up the heat quotient with a flirty sweetheart neckline and a pulse-accelerating low back.  Then, as if I wasn’t already feeling like an over-stimulated squirrel stumbling upon a box of cashews, my gaze meandered onto … the belt.  Ah, mon dieu.  There’s no adequate way to describe the heavily embellished ribbon belt that lurches this gown right over the top — you just have to look at it.  Adorned with an intricately arranged cluster of countless crystals emphasizing the natural waist, this belt would make any plain satin frock instantly glamorous, but on this stunning gown, juxtaposed against such an extravagant bodice … well, it’s an embarrassment of riches.  Throw in the fact that this gown has straps and yet still manages to look modern and sophisticated and young rather than dowdy (making it truly the unicorn of bridal gowns), and you have basically the perfect dress. 

Like I said, I still love my beautiful Alvina Valenta gown, and it’s going to look even more glamorous with my sparkly Regina B. accessories, and perhaps when I slip into it on my wedding day every other dress I tried on or looked at will melt away from my memory, including this one.  In the meantime, however, this glittering gown does make me sigh a little and think, “What if …”

After months of drooling over Regina B.’s delicious baubles, I finally turned my fixation into actual purchases:  A few weeks ago, I ordered earrings as gifts for my maid and matron of honor, my best friend Tara and sister Victoria, respectively.  More recently, my sister ordered my accessories as a gift, my “something new” (the best gift ever, for which I’ve decided to thank her by waiting several full weeks before accosting her with a new laundry list of wedding-related tasks I need completed in a timely and efficient manner).  So, all I can do now is wait semi-patiently for the arrival of my fabulous trousseau at some point before November 6th.  In the meantime, I’ve been getting my daily fix from her website, www.reginab.com, where I discovered the mind-numbing fabulousness of the necklace pictured in this post.  I’ve decided its over-the-top, sparkly decadence deserves a post all its own.

As you can see, this visual feast is not for the faint of heart.  Featuring six chains and two decadent flower motifs and untold amounts of Swarovski crystals, this piece is for the girl who is serious about being the center of attention.  When I first laid eyes upon it, staring bleary-eyed at my computer during an idle moment at work, I may or may not have fallen off my chair, and smelling salts may or may not have been employed in pealing me off the floor.  Equal parts ridiculous and amazing, this glittering cornucopia of crytals makes traditional “bridal jewelry” look like sad, scrawny little castaways.  A few caveats:  Costing as much as some wedding gowns, this sassy little work of art might not be appropriate for the budget-conscious bride.  Also, for the girl (like yours truly) who was dismayed when she stopped growing at a whopping 5’2″ , this necklace might be a bit overwhelming on her petite frame.  And of course, if your dress is covered with yards of antique lace and/or looks like a Bedazzler threw up all over it, this much “bling” might be absurd or tacky, veering into “gaudy” territory (after all, it’s a dangerously thin line between glamorous burlesque chic and drag queen horror).  But for the girl with the right budget, the right stature and the right dress, this shimmering masterpiece is a must-have.  As for yours truly, I love chunky, “statement” jewelry, so this mouth-watering piece is right up my alley.  Unfortunately, however, I shall be confining the drama in my trousseau to the crystal and mother-of-pearl extravaganza I’ll have stuck to the side of my head, as well as to some long, glittery earrings, so I’ll be foregoing this particular piece of sparkly magnificence.  Even still, a girl can always dream …

]]> http://www.richardvinhais.com/wedding/?feed=rss2&p=1761 0 http://www.richardvinhais.com/wedding/?p=1681 http://www.richardvinhais.com/wedding/?p=1681#comments Sun, 08 Aug 2010 03:01:58 +0000 Richard Vinhais http://www.richardvinhais.com/wedding/?p=1681

The Hangover was out-of-this world funny.  In fact, I’ve seen the film over a half-dozen times now and I still find it hysterical.  How could it not be funy when you’re given a healthy dose of:  Memory loss, kidnapping, grand theft auto, Mike Tyson’s Tiger, Mike Tyson himself, random baby, missing teeth, being hospitalized, getting tased in the face, etc.  Come on!  How ridiculously entertaining is that???

When the time came for me to think through what I’d like to do for my bachelor party, I didn’t hesitate…Vegas baby!  Did the film influence my decision making?  Eh, maybe a little bit, but not entirely.  At the end of the day it was my “best man” who convinced me that it would create the most memorable experience.  I’ve never been there before and it’s already on my travel wish-list.  Not to mention it is the quintessential destination to cut loose with friends. 

With that said, for those that really know me understand that I’m not much of a drinker; or party animal for that matter.  In fact (just to continue the Hangover reference)…I’m probably the equivalent of the groom that was left on the roof the entire movie.  So my expectations for the trip will be tame by comparison. 

I don’t expect a large turn-out for the event as I know it’s not a cheap excursion.  But to those that can make it…Thank you.  I’m very excited. My best man Mike is handling the communications, so please reach out to him directly with any specific questions.  But…I figured I’d share some of the logistics for those about to book their travel.  Thanks for doing all the research and planning for this trip Mike.

Timeline:

• October 14 – 17th

Flights:

• My “best man” (Mike) has already generously booked and covered my flight.  We’ll actually be flying in on October 13th (6:00 pm out of JFK arriving in Vegas at 8:51pm) on Jet Blue.  Turns out it was a substantially cheaper flight coming in on Wednesday night as opposed to Thursday.
• We’ll be flying back out on the 17th at 8:50am and arriving back in JFK at 4:55pm.
• Don’t worry about showing up at the same time as us.  Just let Mike know when you’ll be arriving so we can all know when / where to meet up.

Hotel:

• We’ll be staying at Caesar’s Palace, located on the strip (3570 Las Vegas Boulevard South, Las Vegas, NV 89109) for the first night. 
• We’ll be staying at this hotel for the duration of the trip. 
• Just confirm with Mike as to who will be rooming with who.

Car Rentals:

• Don’t bother.  Just take a taxi from the airport to the hotel.  We won’t need to rent a car for this trip. 

Activity Wish-list – although we don’t plan on having a set itinerary for the trip, here are some things I’d like to see / do.  Let me know if there is anything else we must add to our list.  I’ve italicized a few unique things I’d really like to squeeze in on the trip.  Most of the other things, I imagine, are going to get checked off just by virtue of just being there:

• Walking the Strip
• City Center
• Bellagio Fountains
• Eiffel Tower Replica
• See the largest Golden Nugget
• Day trip to the Grand Canyon…I gotta do this as it kills two birds with one stone regarding my travel bucket list. 
• Cirque du Soleil…Apparently “O” is supposed to be amazing.  If I see any show during the trip…this is it!
• Hitting the Clubs…Apparently there is a “hot” club considered for certain nights of the week.  Need to ask our concierge about that. 
• Penn & Teller show…Eh, not terribly excited about this one, but my buddy strongly recommended it.
• Hotel Crawl…Apparently visiting the hotels on the strip is supposed to be pretty incredible.
• Party at the pool…I guess that’s supposed to be fun.  Drinking and gambling while in a pool sounds like a unique thing to do.
• Downtown…I’ve read that the Freemont experience might be interesting. 
• Gaming Classes at the Las Vegas Hilton…Would be nice to learn how to gamble if we have time.
• Hitting the Casinos
• Making charitable contributions to select strippers interested in pursuing a college education  :)